Friday, February 24, 2017

Surgery a Few Days From Now

My cataract surgery is Wednesday at 8:00 am. Most people say it is no big deal. Well it is if you have other health conditions.

 Filled out pre-registration forms on line. Stated a person had to drive you home. No problem. Said someone had to stay with you for 24 hours. That is a problem when you have no family. What they don't know won't hurt them.

Just wish I could go back home.

Thursday, February 9, 2017

Update on Cataract surgery

Saw my eye doctor Monday. After multiple tests, doctor scheduled surgery to remove the cataract on my left eye. She said she couldn't give me any hope in regards to improving my vision because I had too many things working against me: plaquenil toxicity, immunosuppressant medication (benlysta), glaucoma, lupus, and dry eye from the lupus, She also informed me that I run a higher risk of infection and possibility of losing this eye because of all of the above. With lupus my immune system is over active causing any physical illness to go off the charts. Instead of my immune system attacking the illness, it attacks my body. So Benlysta suppresses the immune system. It also opens me up for infections.

Surgery is scheduled for March 1st with a follow up on the 2nd. Not looking forward to this. The cataract on the right eye is now as large as the left. Thankfully the new eye drops have dropped the pressure in my eyes allowing me to have surgery.

This time of the month the Benlysta wears off. The pain is unbearable. Fevers are frequent. Bed rest is a must. My next IV infusion is Monday. Sometimes I wonder if it is worth it.

Appreciate your prayers!!

Monday, February 6, 2017

Lupus Flares and Update

Lupus flare hit me hard on Friday. Throwing up, severe pain, fevers, etc. Etc. Etc. Emotional upset, stress from neighbor problems, death, and life alone in general just all exploded like a volcano. Been in Bedford three days only to get up today to go to an eye doctor's appointment to do presurgery tests for cataracts.

No hope was given by the doctor to restore sight due to plaquenil toxicity, lupus, and glaucoma working against me. Hoping the removal of the cataract will lower the eye pressure and prevent blindness for awhile. Surgery is March 1st for left eye.

The neighborhood stress! If you wonder if your bad choices have any effect on others, YES IT DOES!! The police have been to the duplex next to me four times since February 1. The police now make it a point to patrol this neighborhood every day several times a day. Problem is they never take the problem away. I made a statement recently saying I wondered if I'd ever find a safe place to live. A friend responded with the question, "what is a safe place?" Spoken like someone who has never experienced unsafe places. I said a safe place doesn't require the police every other day!

Add all of this to the life of someone who is physically ill and whose life is going down hill every day and you have hope fading fast.

I have no patience with cry babies  in the news, fools who want to argue, and people who have never suffered pain. Sometimes I just want to tell Shut up already!

Trust me when I say screaming doesn't help! 

Sunday, January 29, 2017

My Heart Is Destroyed!!

My best friend in all the world died this morning. Rascal was 17 yrs old, but so healthy. No sign of what was to come. I went into the kitchen to get something and when I went back to my room, he was gone. Just that fast. He took half of my heart with him. Was two hours before my next door neighbor could bury him. So I sat with him, wrapped him in a blanket and petted him. He was loving on me just a few hours ago. Walking all over me while I tried to sleep. Typical behavior. 

Rascal ran through my door when he was about three months old. It was a very hot day in Alabama and he was searching for shelter and water. Immediately he was my baby. He's been the one soul I could tell all my troubles to, has seen me through so much loss, has been my faithful and true friend. He wasn't a pet. Rascal was part of my heart. 

I am so devastated. And I officially hate the month of January. Anniversary of my mama's death, her birthday, my birthday, and now Rascal's death. If I could cut it out of the calendar and skip it altogether I would. 

I love you my dear friend. Always.

Friday, January 27, 2017


This is a hard month for me. Anniversaries of my mama's death, her birthday and my birthday. Thankful this month is almost over. Then I wonder why it goes by so fast. 

My best friend was here for almost a week for my birthday. We hit a lot of Half Price Bookstores, some thrift, saw "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them," ate birthday cake and dinner and rode a dinner train. Worn out. They day she left I went to bed and slept. Still worn out. It was warmer during her time here and now the cold temperatures have set in again. My hands are frozen as I sit here writing. Snow flurries fell today. We're suppose to have some sticking snow on Sunday. Time will tell.

The RJ Corman Dinner train (My Old KY Dinner Train) was wonderful. Beautifully set tables inside a 1940's car. Traveled a strip of tracks that belong to them. Saw different historic markers along the way like Jesse James safe house, wooden trestle that survived the War Between the States, a train depot where "Stripes" was filmed, etc. Here's the link that tells all about it:

A list of Historic Points: 

So thankful to have been able to experience this. Have always wanted to ride a train. 

Spent the night away from home. The room had a jacuzzi tub in the bathroom. Was so tall I thought I wouldn't be able to get in. The next morning I sat on the side, pulled both legs over and lowered into the tub. Was the best bath I ever had! The heat and jets released all the pain in my body if only for a short time. The tub had grooves cut into the side so that I could hold on and pull up. If I ever win publisher's clearing house, I'm getting a jacuzzi!


While I was outside feeding the kitties late yesterday, three cop cars arrived at the drug house two doors down, body armour on, rifles drawn. Ambulance showed up and left after ten minutes, but the cops stayed over an hour. Of course they left without anyone to arrest. I will never understand this. WHY? While taking out trash, I heard them talking at the end of the driveway saying they could have arrested both of them for the bruises and cuts on them. Then why not?!?! So sick of these people. 

Thursday, January 12, 2017

When You're just too sick....

On days I'm just too sick to get off the couch, I cuddle with my kitties. They say animals are good to lower blood pressure. Good to help with illness in general. Rain is pouring outside and my outdoor kitties are protected in their own little crates on the front porch. Warm, clean blankets inside. But inside Rascal and Bitty always know when I'm too sick to move. They always curl up near or on top of me. I'm amazed at how they just know on bad days.

So when you're too sick to get off the couch, I hope you have some animal love to encourage you.

Yo yo Up!

The crazy weather is turning to the 60's, back down and up again! I can honestly say this weather is killing me! Everytime the pressure changes the pain increases. One day I awoke to a swollen right leg and foot. Barely able to balance on nerve dead totally numb feet (which is every day). So I pulled myself along the wall and cried the pain away.

The cold did damage to my heating bill. Yikes!!  Thank goodness for cat body heat!! So I will put off filling a couple of prescriptions until next month. Freeze or medicine. Bad choice either way. Cost of meds went up again. Fifteen bottles get expensive.

My birthday is January 20th. Born the day JFK was sworn into office. Glad to see a new person in office that day.

Many memories co email this month. My Mama died January 18, 1985. Two days before my 34th birthday. Her birthday is January 25th. Sadness has been a shadow over January for a long time.

Rain send to have settled in for at least two weeks. Enduring the pain will be tricky. Hoping the next Benlysta infusion will help with the pain. One day at a time.