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Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Scan Day - UPDated

Out the door for my scan. Not sure what it will show, but the lump is larger today. 

UPDATE: still waiting to hear results. Always a waiting game.

The woman who did my ultra sound said it looked like whatever this is is in the lymph nodes. She did a full scan of my thyroid and I had to show her where the lump was located. She stopped a couple of times and asked, "You have never had your thyroid scanned before??" Made me a little jumpy.

I've been hypothyroid since I was 16 yrs. old and taking medication for it. She said she scanned a lady before me who has been on the medication for a long time and hardly had a thyroid to scan. Said the medication did that much damage. I hate hearing stories like that. 

It all comes down to who reads the test and how much time he/she takes to really look at it. I won't worry about this. Just hope I don't have to chase down the results again. 

I've been sick since last Friday. Was in bed on Easter Sunday. My kind next door neighbors invited me to lunch, but I was too sick to get out of bed. So they brought me a plate of food. SO thankful! 

Tomorrow is my rheumatologist appointment and I still don't know what I think about her or her office. They don't keep up refills when requests are sent. I had to ask for the paperwork for the lupus medication. After gathering all of the info for it, I realized it required a prescription before mailing. So here I sit with the paperwork done and no prescription. I'll get it tomorrow. Three months wasted. 

If you ever have to deal with the medical field, you'll find yourself doing more of the work. You have to follow through, check on your prescriptions, make sure you have everything you need, etc. When I joked about being a "professional patient" due to my multiple illnesses, looks like I wasn't joking. 

So I'm waiting and will update here.

Friday, April 18, 2014

DOCTOR'S VISIT RENDERED A SURPRISE

Yesterday I had my four month doctor's visit in Wilmore. During the exam, the doctor found a lump in my neck. I thought I felt something a couple of months ago, but ignored it. There are far too many other things to worry about with my health.

He was concerned about this lump. It is approximately the size of a ping pong ball now and is bothering me. He said it could be a goiter since I have had thyroid problems since I was 16 yrs old, but he didn't want to take any chances.

I have an echo  Tuesday morning. He said we'd go from there. If it is a mass, well, we'll take it a step at a time. If it is a goiter, I go to an endocrinologist. I've been on thyroid medication for 37 years. However, the past six months or more, my hair has been falling out, my skin is super dry and my nails are peeling. I'm also so exhausted that I can function two hours before having to give up.

He asked me if I was experiencing hair loss. I told him yes. Funny thing is I've been telling him this for six months, but yesterday he heard me. Amazing how doctors are.

I can worry about it or look at it as a new adventure set to teach me about my hypothyroid disease. I'm not worried. I worry about money, financial struggles, wondering how much longer I can function on my own, etc., but a lump? Nope. Whatever comes with this lump, I'll take it a day at a time.

Life is filled with surprises. Some good, some bad. Endure the bad and become stronger. Enjoy the good while it lasts. Thank God for both.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

THIS IS FAITH!

Spring Flowers Among The Snow and Freeze

Will be in the 20's tonight. Weather says it will be a long hard freeze. Gathered up my plants and brought them in. Harvested my tulips and daffodils to enjoy. Sharing with you.



 

Dizzy Dreams, Easter, and Lupus Pain

As usual, I had odd dreams last night. I dreamed that I opened my mailbox and tons of letters/cards fell out. They came from all over the world. Each one held $10 - a blessing that really added up fast (and was needed). Each card read as follows: From God.

I can only imagine what that must feel like in my waking life. Perhaps I dreamed it because of the great financial need in my life. Perhaps I dreamed it as a reminder that God provides and takes care of me (and He does). Perhaps I dreamed it because I always look forward to the mail each day even though it is usually filled with junk and bills. Even so, the dream was wonderful, a far cry from the nightmares I've been experiencing nightly.

When I awoke, I smiled at such a possibility. Wouldn't it be wonderful?! Then I stood up and almost passed out. I've been dizzy all day, my heart fluttering in my throat, and feeling physically ill. Both hands are numb today so I've had to be careful when trying to hold the simplest of items like a cup or bowl. Since Dr. day is Thursday, I decided to crawl back in bed and suffer it out.

The weather has changed once again. Snowy morning and below freezing temps tonight. But soon Spring will return - a time of hope and promise. Easter is Sunday. Although I won't be going to church this year, I always worship Him. While families gather together for church and dinner afterwards, I'll be spending the day with Rascal and Buddy, and hoping Buddy won't snatch anymore baby bunnies from underneath the bush at the end of my porch like he did last year. Poor bunny! I tried to rescue him, but he didn't let me.

I remember Easters from the past. My mother always made a ham dinner on Easter. We ate together. It was the one thing she did so well - make holiday dinners. She was the true southern cook. My dad always bought my Easter basket. He stopped when I turned ten. It broke my heart. Haven't had one since. Sometimes I wish I had an Easter basket filled with goodies.

There is a robin singing outside my window. His repertoire is beautiful. Not one song the same. On a day like this when I feel alone in the world, it is a blessing to hear God's song bird sing such beautiful songs.

Time to go back to bed. Even though sleep won't come because of the pain, I will rest my head and remember the wonderful dream from the night before.

 

SNOWY SPRING MORNING

Woke up to beautiful snow falling. Nothing like a Spring snow. Air smells crisp and clean. Big beautiful flakes falling. Thankful for a beautiful snowy day.



 

Sunday, April 13, 2014

HOMESICKNESS AND SPRING, EBAY

No matter how old I get, I still become homesick from time to time. It hits me when I least expect it. Even though it is heavier around the holidays, a simple dream can take me back to my childhood. No matter how bad things were, it was still home.

I've felt homesick a great deal lately. Unfortunately, going "home" is not an option for me because my family passed away nearly twenty years ago. Home hasn't been home for a long time.

A friend shared this on her facebook page. Brought all those tears to the surface again. I can't help but wonder if I were able to go back to the house where I grew up, would it help me heal from all the pain I experienced there? This song really touched my heart:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBgM5ZRzzjI&feature=youtu.be

Even though the grass is green (and needing to be cut I might add), flowers are springing forward and rain showers come out of nowhere, we are going to hit low temperatures once again in KY. The weather report said not to be surprised if we see snowflakes.  With the hard fall from 83 degrees to the low 30's once again, my body will feel the affects strongly. It will hurt!

******It is a hard month financially. Selling items on Ebay to buy food for the kitties. Please take a moment to look: 

http://www.ebay.com/sch/maryjcal/m.html?item=321378709172&ssPageName=STRK%3AMESELX%3AIT&rt=nc&_trksid=p2047675.l2562

I wanted to share Spring with you in some of my own flowers. If you don't get flowers, plant your own. So I did.