Monday, August 22, 2016

What a Bad Day!

When I woke up this morning I had the fleeting thought of how happy I was that I wouldn't have to go back to see a doctor until October. Then I went to the eye doctor! Went in for a plaquenil test and came out with a $40 charge just to get a new glasses prescription, cataracts on both eyes, glaucoma, and plaquenil toxicity. Two more exams to go - one next month with her to check my eye pressure and waiting to hear when I go to Lexington to see a retina specialist to determine damage med has done after taking it 22 years. Can't go off cold turkey because lupus would put me in the hospital. Plaquenil controls the fevers and flares. It is the only medication (besides Benlysta) that controls the flares. All of the other fifteen medications control symptoms. 

So now I have to come up with money for a pair of glasses, to copay eye doctor visits and retina specialist. Once I am safely off the plaquenil, they will start doing cataract surgery. Can you say "cha-ching!"

I am still in shock with the diagnosis. Any prayers you can spare would be appreciated!

Friday, August 19, 2016


The temperatures and weather here has been off the chart. One day hot, next day cool. Several rainy. Today I've been in so much pain. Just can't get comfortable.

One more doctor's appointment on Monday. Time for a plaquenil test and eye exam. For those who don't know, plaquenil, a drug used to treat lupus, deposits on the back of your retinas causing vision damage. Has to be checked at least once a year. I've only been checked once in four years.

Lupus caused a great deal of damage to my vision over the years. Before I left Dothan, I was diagnosed with pre-glaucoma. Not here. I miss the eye doctor I saw in Dothan.

I've been blessed this week. Thank you Christy!

Time to head to the shower. Hoping a hot bath will loosen the pain.

Friday, August 12, 2016

Never Thought About It

Yesterday an old college friend asked me if I had a support system. Actually I had to answer the truth. Nope. No one encourages me every day, I never get hugs and as of today it has been six days since I've seen another person. I guess you could say this illness and suffering from it for so long has caused me to lose faith in people. Always said when the day comes where I didn't have to spend the Christmas season alone, I'd start believing in people again. But just like anywhere else I've been, talk is cheap and lack of actions speak so much louder.

Please don't tell me people mean well and expect me to believe it. As I write this I'm alone yet another day and another night.

Cost of medication is rising. My kitties are out of food already (thanks to that neighborhood dog, whom I haven't seen in two weeks). And I need food as well. The past two weeks have been terribly hard. The stress from July caused some pretty severe flares, fevers, swelling joints, and huge sores on my body. Today was the first day in two weeks I've been able to sit in the living room most of the day.

So to answer her question, no, I don't. I've simply grown used to having to deal with all of this alone. She's right - no one should have to grow used to this!!

So if you're out there suffering and have at least one family member or friend who checks on you, helps you in any way, be thankful. It is a rougher road alone.

There's not a moment I wish to go back home to Alabama (more frequently after a doctor's visit and lack of care. Then I wish and pray hard for God to open a financial door for me making my desperate need more real. Dear Father God please send me all the support I need to restore my home to Alabama again and bless me with the gift if my rheumatologist there. I can't do this alone. I need help in every area. If humanity has truly become the uncaring selfish people I believe they have, please send down angels and the Holy Spirit to get the job done. My hope rests in You!

On these dry miserably hot days in Kentucky, and yes they cause all kinds of pain with humidity and the barometric pressure beating on me. In these days I beg God to bless us with rain to quench the heat, send water to the vegetation on earth, to water the glorious and unique animals who live among us. Tonight I heard thunder and looked out the window to see rain. Miss little bit and I did a gig for joy! Well a small gig (b
Hard to dance on two feet and legs with permanent nerve damage while balancing yourself with a cane! It has been a long while since we had rain and every drop helps.

I lay my head down on my pillow and dreamed of the ocean, of Panama City beach FL. Memories of walking in the sand after the sun went down, feeling the warm sand on me when I sat down, hearing and watching the birds hunt for supper. Remembering how cold it was one December where I had to go to Walmart to get gloves, scarf and hat, and warmer closed in shoes before I could walk the beach. It was bbbbiiiitttteeeer!

But if I ever came into money, I would live on the beach. I recall a time when the staff went to the beach for a planning retreat. I spent most of my time looking at the waves and letting me be hypnotized by them. My favorite spot was on the screened in back porch just feet away from the water. I would si and write stories and poems. I'd also allow the waves to rush over me with their healing touch. It was there I felt calm, at peace and knew God could and would do anything. He was in charge of this mere existence my small  life shown. God's word is powerful and strong. Know He is the beginning and the end. I feel closer to Him at the ocean than any other place on earth. 

Sunday, July 31, 2016

I'm Tired!

I'm tired. So tired of stress caused by other people. So tired of dealing with people who never learned manners or how to behave. I'm tired of people telling me to be more sensitive (politically correct) when it comes  my beliefs. I'm tired of seeing people abuse animals and children. I'm sick and tired of women thinking abortion (murder) is birth control. I'm sick of Christians walking away instead of standing up for what they believe. I'm angry that parents don't get the fact that when a child is born, it isn't about them anymore.

My lupus is on high alert today hitting every joint, I'm swollen and in horrible pain. Thanks a lot stress! I read an article recently telling all who suffer from lupus to control your trigger points. How, pray tell, can you control other people who cause stress?!

It also stresses me out when I realize there are so many people who are so naive. Instead of listening to both sides and making common sense decisions they just listen and accept without question. Before this election process began, I had a hard time understanding how the anti-christ yet to come would be admired and accepted by so many. It appears common sense isn't so common anymore. People are too accepting without question.

I watch Judge Jeanine every Saturday night. She is one sharp cookie. She peels off the sugar coating politicians pour over truth (in other words blatant lies) and gets down to the facts.

I can only hope others will hear what she has to say and wake up. This election is not about putting a woman in the White House. It is about so many more important things that affect our day to day lives. If you don't like Trump, fine. Vote for the issues at hand. Just don't listen to the news media and let them decide for you. Just listen. Get out of the "see what you want to see and hear what you want to hear" mindset and start looking at the facts.
Click on the link below.

Friday, July 29, 2016

I've Had Enough!

 Tonight I stepped on the porch to feed my kitties. A big dog ran up to my porch and tried to bite me. This isn't the first time it has happened. The people in the building next door let their huge dog run around loose. The police have been to that residence five times (counting tonight) since they moved in in November of last year.

Instead of coming over and getting her dog and leaving, she stood on my doorstep and harassed and threatened me. She just kept going over and over and over. Threatened to beat my cats. Threatened me. I'm so thankful my next door neighbor stepped out onto the porch and saw the whole thing including the dog being aggressive.

I kept telling her to leave my porch. She just got worse. She even started yelling at my neighbor when she, too, told her to leave. I told her if she didn't go I'd call 911. She wouldn't budge. I dialed 911 and she walked off.

Two officers came. The first one from Nicholasville listened to what happened and went straight over to her and spent more time with her. When he returned, my neighbor was outside with me. He only said I could file charges and that he could do nothing unless he saw the incident himself.  Only told her to stay away from me and keep the dog on a leash.

The Wilmore officer said more when he arrived. He listened to what we said. I kept reiterating how her harassment was more of a concern to me. He, too, said I could file charges, that he would write up what had happened, and tell her himself that if she came back on this property she would go to jail.

I am utterly amazed. A policeman has to see the incident in order to do something about it. First one had no intention of doing anything. The second one got it.

I'm so tired of this! Isn't there anywhere safe you can live anymore? To think I moved here to get away from crime!

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

The Final Events

This is one of the best film explanations of the last days I  have seen. Strictly by the Bible. If these scary times are causing great fear in your life, it helps to know why and what is coming.

Monday, July 18, 2016

Blood Test Reports

Received a call from my rheumatologist's office last week. Said my kidney function numbers were not great. But instead of saying if I had any problems to call them, they said this, "If you have any pain or problems with your kidneys, call your local MD." 

I've been diagnosed with systemic lupus for 22 years now. My rheumatologist in Dothan would have put me in the hospital and monitored me for this issue. The rheumatologist here told me to go to another doctor. What's wrong with this picture?! Sad thing is the local MD would have asked me if this wasn't something the rheumatologist should deal with. 

As far as health care was concerned, I was a fool to move from Alabama. Now I can't afford to move back. 

Live and learn.