Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Just another Day

Just another day. Rainy. Painful physically. Empty emotionally. Sometimes I feel as though God is punishing me by placing me in a four walled jail never to see another person. No family. No one. Holidays make it so much worse. The only time I don't feel so overwhelmed is when I'm asleep. I get up in the morning praying today will be a better day and by the end of it, I'm in tears. Lonely, painful tears.

Those with parents, those with friends, those with family of their own just don't understand what this is like. Sad thing is most don't care outside of their own world. I've experienced that in so many ways over the past few years.

I open the med pill dispenser for the day and ask myself "why bother?" No purpose. No one needs me. I have no life.

God get me through this horrible month. Give me strength not to give up and stop breathing.

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