Sunday, May 2, 2010

Sun and Lupus

Last week I was exposed to sunshine and had fevers of 102 degrees for days. By the end of the next week, I was able to go outside again. When I did, party animals upstairs brought out their druggies and stressed me out. Yes, when I feel unsafe I am afraid. When I get stressed, another flare hits. The office manager just made it worse. I would never recommend living in this complex. You're not allowed to defend yourself. You have to be a select few to get anything done. You have to be a minority to have the manager believe anything you say.

So it put me down again. High fevers of 102, swollen joints, etc. Stress is triggered and triggers a lupus flare. I've had chest pains for days. My digestive system has come to a halt. Friday night I stood in the shower and just cried. Another trigger for lupus. Saturday I went to the art class and realized I just wasn't good at it if I was sick. More stress. Came home and was so sick I couldn't sleep. Throwing up. Now have lupus sores all over me.

This morning I slept in. Got up to eat something and feed the cats. Went down again and slept for a few hours. Having lupus is like living in a four wall bedded prison. They can only treat the symptoms. No cure. My doctors just go through the motions. I feel like I'm just going through motions.

IT makes a difference if you have a family member or friend who loves you. If you feel loved, your life is worth it. Void of love, your health is worse. Mine is void.

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