Thursday, September 9, 2010

Before I die

I've suffered a long time with this horrible disease. It has sprouted other diseases as well feeding off my weakened body. I only ask for one thing before I leave this earth: to live in a house again and in a SAFE place.

It has always been my greatest desire to move back to Wilmore, KY, the place where I went to college. The town is small, filled with kind, good people. All four seasons would be so kind to my already strained immune system. It is Sept. 9th and the temp today was 96 in Dothan. I can bear cold, but the heat makes me so sick.

My one wish would be to live in Wilmore again in a house close to the college. I'd love to be able to walk to chapel and enjoy the fellowship, visit the new library and an alum, or just enjoy the release of stress I felt there. When I was in college, my mother was very ill. I was stressed and my emotions were up and down. I always had to decide whether to go back or stay home when each quarter rolled around. Even when I was in school, I'd worry about her alone because my dad and brother both worked. God blessed me in Wilmore with the dearest friends I've ever had, with His love and healing. I never would have made it through the toughest years of my life without the love and foundation Asbury and Wilmore gave to me.

Now I just want to live in peace for my final years. The aortic thoracic aneurysm is growing to 5.0. It will either burst or I will be faced with open heart surgery. The surgeon already told me I stand an 80% chance dying on the table when he opens my chest because of the lupus. Please, dear Lord, send me a miracle, but not for the aneurysm or the lupus. Send me a miracle so that I can live safely and quietly in a place where I love so dearly.

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