Thursday, September 9, 2010

Me, too!

Today I signed on Facebook and read a post about someone who needed to meet some new friends because she was feeling lonely. She was also bored. This lady has a husband and family. Her life is full. She was lonely. She was bored.

I use to be busy. I use to have a ton of friends. Then I was diagnosed with a horrible disease that has since caused one more illness after another. During that time I lost every member of my family. Every day I wake up to an empty apartment, not house, in a place where I don't feel safe. No husband, no family, no mom or dad, no children, no extended family. I am alone. Her loneliness is temporary, but I feel it every day of my life. I wonder sometimes when I wake up, WHY am I still here?

I took care of mom until she passed away. I took care of dad till he passed away. I took care of my only sibling till he passed away. My jobs were done. WHY am I still here, stuck in an apartment complex where I'm threatened and verbally abused? Alone. I turn on the TV just to have a human voice to hear. The animals I've been blessed with have been dearer friends than humans over the years. When I'm in the hospital, no one visits. No one cares.

I feel for the lady who is lonely and bored, but I'd trade places with her in a heart beat.

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