Thursday, January 6, 2011


So many blessings over Christmas. How do you save them up to last a year?? Visits from people I never see but once a year? How do you cherish them for a whole year? I'm so thankful for the blessings.

I'm thankful I was able to get out of bed this morning and walk to the kitchen. I'm thankful I could sit at the computer longer than fifteen minutes. I'm thankful I can think more clearly today than I did yesterday. I'm thankful I could stand in the shower today without falling over (major milestone!).

I'm thankful to have a roof over my head, a place to sleep at night, a loving cat who keeps me company. Still, my goal is to move this year to a safer place. Being stuck inside 90% of the time with no way to go searching for a new place makes it hard. Knowing someone who knows someone who has a place would be easier. If someone knows of a place, please let me know. I long to be able to walk outside my door, sit outside in the fresh air, take a walk and feel safe again. As it is, I only leave the apartment when I'm going to the doctor or grocery store. Praying for an open door, direction, help.

I'll be 50 on Jan. 20th. It is also the 50th anniversary of the inauguration of John F. Kennedy. I keep thinking I've lived four years past my brother. So many thoughts run through your mind when you're faced with a milestone. Unlike so many who have big birthday parties, I'll go out to dinner and that will be it. I would prefer snow! Haven't had a birthday party in many many years. Somehow it doesn't matter anymore. Having a friend who sticks by you through the toughest times of this illness means more than having a room full of people who never call or visit you gathering for a party. I'm thankful for peace.

was blessed with a gift of staying at the beach for two days at New Year's. The healing waves did their job! There is something so powerful and healing in the ocean. Maybe it is because I feel so much closer to God there. Sometimes I wish I could live on the beach.

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