Monday, January 24, 2011

Sick Sick Sick!!

I spent my birthday alone. Was a sad day to turn 50. Did go to bingo Thursday night since Sandy took the night off. Didn't win anything, but did get free cards.

Saturday Sandy took me to Boondocks in Panama City, FL to eat. Was so nice to go. By Saturday morning I was so sick with the crud. We wandered through the libraries in FL, picked up used books in their bookstore, and headed to Boondocks. My spinal stenosis flared badly and I had to stop at Walmart to get icy hot to cover my back. I could barely walk. Still having problems walking. If it doesn't get better, I'll be calling the doctor specializing in this one.

I'm sick of doctors. Just saw my internal doctor last week. THEN get sick. See my eye doctor this week to see if the plaquenil has deposited on the back of my retina. Also to check on lupus damage to my eyes.

A lady who works with Sandy lost her son a week ago. He had lupus. He decided not to take meds or see the doctor anymore. He developed pneumonia and lupus attacked his lungs leaving two holes. He died at 28 leaving two children behind. I had reached the point taking 20 meds was too much. The reality hit me in the face last week. He was diagnosed a year before. When I asked my doctor if I could come off these meds, she panicked thinking I was serious. She said, "You want to live, right?"

Hard to someone else to understand when they don't suffer. I just wish I had a way of moving out of this horrible, unsafe apartment complex. Sunday the hispanic guy caused trouble. A week before he almost burned the apartments with a grill. Noise is unbelievable. My doctor said I have to move or my health will continue to plummet. How? It costs money. Go where?

I still can't walk outside and get fresh air. Too unsafe. Oh Lord, please rescue me.

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