Thursday, May 19, 2011

Falling

Amazing how short a memory can be! As I stood up, I had forgotten to "think" before I walked. Down I went! The nerves are damaged in my feet and legs and I have to think before I take any steps. Not thinking drops me like a hot potato. I guess it can be a good thing when you fall on the knee you have no feeling in anymore. Or can it?

I can't call to Rascal for help. If he were only able to pull me up what a wonderful gift that would be! The only 11 yr. old cat with super powers! So I sat there for a long time nursing what pain I felt. When I finally was able to pull myself up, I dragged myself to the chair near the computer. Better to sit in a chair with wheels for awhile than to try to walk on legs that may be more injured than I can feel.

I wonder. With so many of us falling short of our own goals and expectations, why is it so hard to pull ourselves up? All the years of fighting to stay on my feet should have made me a tougher person, but as I get weaker I find it much harder to stand up to many things. Bullying is one. I was bullied in elementary school, jr. high, and high school. I was bullied in the working world. I have even been bullied by neighbors and landlords. Ridiculous. There is no excuse for any person to push someone down and stand on them keeping them from pulling themselves up. I'm thankful God taught His children to always reach out a hand to help others up. No matter how small the pain, there should be someone there to help ease it. When there is no one, the pain is magnified. At this point in my life, I live in pain.

I'm thankful to have pulled myself up today. No matter who pushes me down from this point on, I will always be there to extend my hand to pick them up no matter how much pain that hand is in. I would hope someone would do the same for me.

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