Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Chasing Pharmacists

If I EVER win the lottery, or come in to some outrageous amount of money, I will dump all doctors, move to the safest, remote place in the world, and let someone else deal with pharmacies! Last week I called in my prescriptions. Unfortunately, with lupus you have a ton of medications as the illness progresses. Since I fill my pill dispenser once a week (divided by the day, by the week), I didn't notice until tonight that one medication had the wrong doctor on the bottle AGAIN. You see, this pharmacy had once taken the first name of one doctor and the last of another and created a whole new doctor's name just a year ago. Tonight I saw where they had the WRONG doctor's name on one of my meds that I've taken for years. This med has been prescribed by my rheumatologist. Instead, they had the name of a doctor I saw once this past summer for a car accident. Top it off with the fact they had given me half of the prescription.

I call the pharmacy and asked to speak to the pharmacist.

"You sent my refill to the wrong doctor."

"Oh no. This one was on file so we filled it instead. Your other doctor didn't respond to the refill request last week."

" I never had a prescription for this med from this doctor. Besides, you were suppose to get a refill from the doctor who prescribes this med."

"Well, we thought it better to give you some med than nothing. This one was on file by computer."

"Take this doctor's prescriptions off. My rheumatologist has prescribed this med for years. There should be no confusion. Now I have half the medication for the month thanks to your helpfulness."

"Oh it is enough for ten days."

"Why didn't you resend the request? Sometimes your computer requests don't go through. They always respond. In fact, WHY didn't you bother to contact me? You never contact me when a doctor doesn't respond to a refill request."

"You have a prescription so we didn't bother. Would you like me to send another request?"

" should have done this already."

Now I have to call in the morning to make sure this is done, something the pharmacy should have done on their own. Two weeks ago I called my doctor's office to ask for a refill to be called in a week early on my cholesterol medication. I have a thoracic aortic aneurysm (aneurysm growing just below my heart) and the medication is suppose to help it somehow. It being so close to Christmas and this pharmacy having such a bad reputation of not complying with refills, I didn't want to take a chance. I called the office, left a message, and knew they would take care of it. When stopping by on Wednesday to pick up the medication, none was filled. I called the next day.

"Did my doctor's office call in a prescription for my med?"
"Yes, they did on Monday. Oh, would you like us to fill it??"
"Yes, that's why they called it in."

WHY ON EARTH would anyone CHOOSE to be sick? Want to be disabled? Want to have to take these stupid pills??? From the sound of it, the pharmacists have been dipping into their own stash.

And to make matters worse, never ever have I been given an "I'm sorry for the misunderstandings" or an "I'm sorry" in general. Add to it this part: I have to deal with the stress of it all by myself. I can't pick up the phone and ask anyone to take care of this for me because there is no one to do it. I can't pick up the phone and ask someone to listen to me rant and rave because there isn't anyone to listen.

If you are healthy, CELEBRATE! Be thankful for every healthy moment. As the New Year approaches and you can't think of anything to be thankful for, be thankful you don't have to deal with illness, meds, and insane pharmacies!

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Christmas Eve

I was talking with a neighbor tonight simply by accident. I looked out the window when I saw her crouched down on her knees beside a neighbor's vehicle. Thinking she had fallen, I walked with my trusty cane outside to see if she was okay. Her dog's leash was caught on something underneath the vehicle and she was simply untangling it. We both laughed and I was glad she was not hurt in any way. We stood outside talking. I learned a great deal about the neighbors who lived around me, too much I'm afraid. Sometimes it is best to be ignorant. The one bit of information that always upsets me the most is knowing the person who is in charge of this place has no care of anything or anyone who lives here. What a wonderful opportunity with so many Senior adults here! What a huge opportunity to make a difference in their lives! Instead she is so absorbed in herself that she can't "see past her nose to spite her face..." as my mother always said.

My neighbor is a loving, caring soul. She was blessed ten fold with the compassion so many have lost. It angers her, too, to see so many ignored, those with families who don't take the time to care about their aging parents, those who are alone, sick, who have to call an ambulance to take them to the hospital because their own children don't have the time.

This has become a terribly cold world we live in. No only do neighbors not know each other, they don't care anymore. It is a rare gift to find someone who does. She is a rare gift and I hope somewhere out there in this world tonight there will be another caring soul who will reach out to someone who is alone. I can tell you from first hand experience, Christmas magnifies the loneliness, the deaths of family members, the silence. Time is free. So is love.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

So Restless

I am not a fan of this time of year. So geared toward families. Magnifies the loneliness I feel and the loss I feel of my own family. I try to remember the purpose of Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Jesus, but my heart swells up with the memories of my own family and missing them so much. Friends take time off to be with their families which means I'm alone more. The silence is magnified.

Today has not been a good day. Weather keeps going from 40's - 75. NOT feeling like Christmas. It also beats up my body so badly. My lupus has hit a high flare. I'm restless, in extreme pain, and can do nothing about it. Sleep doesn't come. So tired of being alone.

Will 2012 be any better? I'm not talking about politics. I'm talking about changes, GOOD changes. Open doors. Blessings. A safe place to live...FINALLY. Oh how thankful I would be for a safe place to live! I've been trapped inside this tiny apartment for almost three years. How I miss being able to take a walk outside, get fresh air, dig in the dirt.

Faith...believing in what is not seen.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

All I want for Christmas...

I've never been one for presents. The only need I have is for a home in a safe place, a quiet place, where I can write again, where I can sleep in peace. All I need for Christmas is a home.