Saturday, April 7, 2012

As Time Passes....

I am thankful for a much quieter place to live. Upstairs shelters the noise more, but there is still noise. Boom cars still rattle the silence that once brought peace. The brand new smell of this apartment complex has now been wiped away with congestion of people who don't care about anyone else but themselves. In other words, typical society. If they want to blast a booming, loud car stereo at 2:00 a.m., they will do so. Unfortunately, there wasn't a box on the lease to check saying you didn't have one of those. There was a statement saying you'll respect others, go inside after 9:00, quiet time is observed after 9:00. I guess it doesn't apply to some people.

It has never been about those who sign the lease, go through the background check, the credit check, etc. It is about the family members, friends, etc., who come after, move in without permission, hang out with their noise, their bad habits, throw their trash in the once green bushes. Just because you are a good person with a good background doesn't mean the person who moves in next door to you is the same. And now the complex is full of a mixture of all kinds of people.

Today I took a walk after picking up my mail. I thought it might loosen up the pain in my back and legs. Should have gone back upstairs. Better still, I should have stayed upstairs. I passed a section that had a police car. At first I thought a policeman had moved in. No. The car was running. Business call. Just great. Passed the ugly Skittles car (that has woken me up time and again at 2:00 a.m. with the LOUD muffler)on my way back to my section. He's back. Just great. Then I decided to sit at bottom of the stairs to get my strength back. Another loud obnoxious muffler. This time to the right. It was that other guy with the who knows what car. He's constantly doing something to it (even though the lease says no working on cars in the complex...will be towed). So I stood by the wall to make sure he saw me. He knows I watch him and he acts nervous. Thing is I just happen to be there when he's outside with that broken down car. Timing is everything.

Then it happened. I heard the loud bark of a small dog. I followed it to the apartment down below. A lady with two small girls lives there. Young woman. No health problems. I guess she just decided to get a dog. Make me furious! I had to jump through hoops...get a letter from the doctor, put down a security deposit. She just picked up a dog and stuck it in the apartment. Funny thing about her is when we came back from the beach last Saturday, two different people were taking the girls. During the time it took us to carry my things back upstairs, which takes a LONG TIME now, one lady took them and a different one brought them back. On Thursday night when Sandy and I were going to a play, a different lady was sitting in a car with the two girls in the back. I saw and waved to them. They started waving back just as happy as could be! She had put a suitcase in the car. They apparently were waiting on the mom.

When I finally reached the top of the stairs today, it dawned on me. The outside light of her apartment was on. I saw suitcases in the car Thursday night. There was a dog inside the apartment. Two days. Now I was worried about the dog inside the apartment so I contacted the manager. Bad enough she wouldn't open the door. I called her. Someone needed to check on that dog (illegal dog).

I don't see this woman staying here very long. There will be some kind of interesting story out of this apartment. Custody story, hiding, something. At any rate, I pray those girls are protected. As for the dog, please let someone rescue him.

I will NEVER understand people. Why is it they just don't care about each other or animals? I still long to have a home of my own no matter how small it may be, safe, secure, quiet. Before I leave this earth it would be the greatest gift in the world to me to have a home where I wouldn't have to walk outside my door and be faced with a crowd of people, have to protect myself, take every ounce of strength I have to get my mail because the post office won't deliver to my door (even though I have a medical letter). My body is full of pain 24/7. I pray each night for it to ease enough for me to fall asleep. I wake up, cry in agony as I pull myself up, stumble to the bathroom in the middle of the night. There are a couple of days a week I can't take a shower because it hurts too much to take my clothes off.
The mental pain of living in an apartment complex of any kind is becoming too much. Today I felt as though I were going to have another TIA. My blood pressure went through the roof. Now I sit here writing in hopes it will alleviate the stress enough so that I can undress, take a shower, go to bed and pull the covers over my head.

So many times I've read or heard you need a number of hugs a day to stay healthy. I can't remember the last time someone hugged me. I wake up in the morning and ask God why I'm still here. The day before is the same as today, last week,etc.

I am thankful to move into a nicer apartment, somewhat more quiet, safer. I still long to live in Wilmore, a place so small I could walk outside my door, walk to the grocery store, church (a place I haven't been in a long time), library, volunteer at Asbury University, attend events, feel as though my day is not empty, overwhelmingly lonely, pointless. I am still trapped in Dothan, just better four walls/bars. They are still lonely, empty, and void of purpose.

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