Saturday, May 26, 2012

Another Day, Same Thing

The heat has hit over 97 today. Not even June yet. I've been sick in bed for the past few days. Stress has caused a bad lupus flare. This place, this town, this state is literally making me sick. Some days I wish it would just finish me off. If I cannot live life, what is the point? I need to live in a small town, a place where I can walk outside my door and go anywhere I want. I still long to live in Wilmore, KY, safe, home. Money, as always, stands in my way. If I had $3800.00 to pay off the rest of my lease, the money to pay for a moving van, gas to get to Wilmore, costs for deposits on a place to live....I'd be gone by the end of the week. 

I've always been told surroundings can add or destroy your life. I am a firm believer in this since I've lived it. My health has been on the fast track to the end for the past five years. It is so much harder when you don't have any family to help. It is so much harder when you don't have anyone who wants you. 

My fever is spiking again so I'd better head back to bed. Before I do that, I'll crawl back on my knees and beg God to send a miracle. I will somehow, some day get out of this place, this town, this state and live again.

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