Saturday, July 28, 2012

Still Sick from a Flare - I Need Help

Although it has been two weeks, I'm still sick from a lupus flare. The swelling has gone down. My joints are in extreme pain. I'm beyond exhausted. Fevers are overwhelming. Because it didn't show up in the urine test or blood test on Monday, oh well! That's the way it has been the past few years. I hope this move will open doors for me to have new medical eyes on my illness. I love my rheumatologist, but I think 17 years has blurred the care. Too many pills and not enough care. I know there is no cure for systemic lupus. I know there has been damage done to my body from this illness. But I also know there are new medications out to treat it. I haven't been given those meds. The old meds I've been on have ruined my metabolism. My surroundings have destroyed my soul. Not being able to go outside and walk, rest in a peaceful setting, has played hard against my body, mind and soul. 


There is hope in this move. Hope for renewal of my body. Control of this horrible disease. Hope for a new life. Hope for friends. Hope for chosen family. Hope for a family. The closing of four wall prisons that have robbed me of human touch, a kind word, the help of a neighbor who cares. Something I've not had in my life for a long time....love. 


It is hard to explain these things to people who have family, friends, a life filled with activity, purpose, joy, a peace that only home gives. I have been slowly dying for the past few years. With the stress of it all, this illness has slowly closed in like a dark cloud not willing to let go of its own nightmares. I see light in the cloud break. Now I have to find a way to get through to the other side.


For now, it is by UHAUL. How I wish a miracle would fall into my lap leaving $1800.00 so that I could hire a moving company to move my belongings to Wilmore on August 16th. As it is now, I have to hire someone to load a UHAUL the day before, Sandy's brother will drive it up, Sandy and I (along with Rascal) will drive up separately, a long trip ahead. The moving company would take so much stress off. If only.... I got a moving quote today....$1800.00. That is WAY too much.


I've been tempted to put a paypal.com link on here and ask for help. But not being smart enough to figure out the link, I could only list my paypal email (MaryJC83@aol.com) and ask for donations to be sent to it. The door is open, but I need help. 


I've been sick in bed for a week now. I have only packed two boxes. Sandy is recovering from gall bladder surgery. There is no one else to help. Time is closing in. I need help.

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