Thursday, February 14, 2013

Another Day Has Passed

Another day has passed.  I spent it sick in bed again awaiting a call from the doctor's office. It never came. He received the MRI CD. How I hoped he would read it and call with GOOD news - the damage was reversible. I do hope he calls before I leave for yet another doctor's appointment on Friday.

I have to have my eyes checked at Retina Associates in Lexington. The medication I take for lupus deposits on the back of the retina. If if has done so, I have to stop taking it. Causes permanent damage. They will also do extensive testing to see how much damage lupus has already done to my vision. I didn't send my past records from the previous eye doctor because I wanted a clean slate. Let them see their own results.

I've lost vision for the past 17 yrs. When I read, I have to use glasses and a magnifying glass. Thanks to a Kindle, I can now read with just my glasses. Boy has it been wonderful to devour books again! 

When I see the world, it is always blurred. Even with glasses, every image is blurred. I cannot judge distance in front of me. I cannot see in darkness. I cannot drive. The doctor I have so much respect for in the long line of doctors examined my neuropathy/spinal stenosis damaged legs and feet. His reply was, "Please tell me you're not driving!" I explained my vision was too damaged from lupus to drive. He said, "That's not what I mean. You have no reflexes in your feet. Add that one to the do not drive list." 

So behind not being able to see clearly or judge distance, I have no feeling in my feet, legs and no reflexes. Nice.

But tomorrow is the extensive eye exam. How I hate those the most! No one likes having something literally placed in your eye for a doctor to see behind your retina. No one likes to have your eyes so dilated that they never go down until the next day (par for the course). 

With everything else, it comes with the territory. 

But I am thankful tonight. I stood in the shower even though I was in so much pain from my spine, lower back and had been in bed sick today. I finished a real book that I started three months ago. And I did not feel sorry for myself for being all alone on Valentine's Day again. 



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