Tuesday, April 16, 2013

The Monster is Back!

The Monster is back! It swoops in without warning controlling every movement of my body, or lack thereof, exposing my vulnerable side to the weakest moments of life. I feel weak today, yesterday and the day before. The lupus monster has returned and taken over again.

I could feel its horror sneaking up Saturday night as I watched the Asbury University play, "The Beams are Creaking." As I sat so still concentrating on every word of this serious play, I could feel the pain seeping into my body. Starting with a headache, fever setting in, pain enveloping my body. I knew the flare had started, but ignored it.

Sunday the monster reared its ugly head once again. I was swollen from head to toe. Fevers reached high temps of 102 and breaking into cold sweats. I found some favor in sleep. When I awoke to the monster again, my thoughts were jumbled, breath short, joints painful. I could not function.

Monday I pushed forward and went to water aerobics. Unfortunately, I could not participate. The water was ice cold once again. The college doesn't adjust the water temp to activities as it should and  Monday was no different. Had I stepped into the pool, I would have been in worse condition.

When I arrived home, fevers had set in once more. Someone had looked after me Monday. I was in the throw of a full-fledged lupus flare. Hoping rest would help, I crawled into bed and prayed for relief.

But relief did not come from the monster. I did not sleep last night. The pain was horrendous. I prayed for some sleep, no pain, just to shut my mind down. But my mind hurt. Everything hurt. Nerves, muscles, joints. Fevers.

I could not go to Bible Study. I could not go on a fun trip to Lexington. I could not breathe. I could not rest. The monster just made me suffer.

Finally after all the pain and suffering, I slept two hours. Oh glorious sleep! Two hours helped so much! The pain is still horrendous. The swelling is still great. The monster has come to stay for awhile.

Hope is on the horizon. I have a doctor's appointment on Friday. Hoping and praying the doctor will listen and follow through to help.

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