Thursday, June 13, 2013

STILL WAITING

When you go in for any medical test, you wait and wait and wait and wait for the results. Those who have never had tests think you get instant results. If only.

When I went  in for my test yesterday, I assumed it would be a quick in, scan and out. Instead I was given a bottle of "fruit flavored" water looking bottled of chemicals to drink. For those who invent this stuff, don't try to hide it as "fruit flavored." There is nothing close to fruit in this bottle.

As you drink this horrible concoction, your mouth turns inside out and you refrain from throwing up. You realize why there aren't any plants in the waiting room because others have already pours what was left of their bottles into the pots killing the previous plants. And if you brought a friend with you, you now have a "medicine police" watching you drink every drop of that horrible bottle of toxin. You lose every bit of your taste buds. You walked into the room starving and thirsty because you couldn't eat or drink after midnight. Now you could care less if you swallowed anything!

Trying to take the suggestion of drinking it down and getting it over with just doesn't work. It would just come back up again. So I tried to use my other trick - good thought memory of meeting Kevin Spacey fourteen years ago. It didn't work either. Just washed away in horrid chemicals.

The more I drank, the more my stomach hurt. The pain was worse. It took more than twenty minutes for me to finally drink the horrible "fruit flavored" chemicals someone obviously labeled as such for a joke.

The wait started for fifty minutes. Fever set in. I should have taken the token blanket they offered earlier. They disappeared afterwards and no one came through after I finished the bottle. So I shook and froze waiting for the clock to tick off those minutes.

Finally a tech returned to usher me back to the cat scan room. An ER nurse hooked me up to the IV to run the dye into my system. It was a familiar dye they run when I get my aneurysm checked once a year. It burns at first, then flushes and makes you feel as though you have wet yourself.

First thing first, I asked for a blanket. It came out of the warmer. AHHHHH!!!!! Felt the heat penetrate each shiver one by one releasing each painful joint.

As she slid me into the cat scan machine, I turned to my faithful memory of meeting Kevin Spacey. It did not fail to relax and bring a smile to my face. After fourteen years, the memory is as clear as yesterday. It has brought me through many painful medical procedures. Thank you, Kevin Spacey! :)

After the test is concluded, the tape is removed from the IV. Okay, medical field, can't you invent better tape for this? It is FAR more painful to take the tape off than to put an IV in! I'm thankful to have been blessed with a sensitive person who put in the IV and took it out.

After arriving home yesterday, the chemicals had made me so sick, I had diarrhea for four hours. The pain in my stomach was worse than ever. I slept for the entire afternoon until my best friend, Sandy, called to tell me she had to put her dearest friend, Macy, her German shepherd, to sleep. Broke my heart! She was twelve years old and was such a loving dog.

Here's some wisdom for you: No matter how rich or famous you may be, if you have to have a medical test or go through any medical procedures, etc., you'll have to face the dreaded medical tape, "fruit flavored" water, chalk drink, back less hospital gowns, and other horrible experiences we have faced.

 

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