Friday, July 26, 2013


It has almost been a week since my fall. I'm still in so much pain and my spine is still inflamed. I've been taking some Tylenol 3, but only at night because I can't stand being fuzzy brained. The medication I take for systemic lupus pain doesn't seem to be touching the added pain and inflammation.

It has been a hard week. Hard to move. Hard to function. Hard to endure the pain. I'm a terrible person to say this but sometimes I wish those closest to me could feel the pain I do just for fifteen minutes so they could understand how bad it feels. Maybe then they wouldn't say flippant things that hurt so badly. Do people really understand how painful words can be?

Then I stop myself and realize how horrible it would be for someone else to feel this horrific pain every day. I truly wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Yesterday I plundered through my pantry and dug out a few cans of food. One by one I've emptied out the pantry. A dinner of instant macaroni and cheese and canned corn may not seem like much to someone else, but it was all I had. I'm thankful I had it to throw together. It is the end of the month. I'm counting pennies. I'm stretching canned food. I'm praying the Government doesn't shut down. If it does, I'm in trouble.

If I didn't drop to my knees, ask for God's protection and thank Him for providing for my needs every day, I wouldn't be here today. I wouldn't make it through the horrific pain I live with day after day, year after year. I couldn't stretch the pennies I have after basic bills are paid, medications are filled and some food is purchased. How do people get through this world without Him?

If I didn't drop to my knees every day, I would be completely hopeless, never sleep,would be a basket case. I'm thankful I can ask for peace and let the stress go before I sleep. At least His peace doesn't come with a price tag!

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