Wednesday, October 16, 2013


I woke up to a painful rainy day. When it rains, my entire body screams in pain. My joints are so swollen I can barely move. Even my wrists are swollen today. So I'm typing with two fingers.

But with this rain has come Fall temperatures. We're in the mid 60's today with 40's at night. Colder temps also play havoc on lupus sufferers.

My rheumatologist's office called this morning trying to make an appointment in December. His office manager said, "The doctor was looking at your blood test results from AUGUST today and wanted to let  you know the results. Also wants to see you in December. Tried hard to force me into an appointment, but I said no When you see a doctor who is a "record keeper and pill pusher," doesn't attempt to examine further problems with a disease like this when you walk in his door in very bad condition, and simply doesn't care, it is time to move on. I feel like I've been neglected for a year and can see how lupus has done more damage over that year.

When you've suffered from a "runaway train" of a disease for eighteen years, it is imperative that you find a doctor who will examine you thoroughly and keep up with what's going on, not just check blood tests. Those tests only show what's going on that day.

It upset me that they would use the "blood test results" from two months ago as an excuse to contact me. In fact, I've never seen nor heard from any of my test results except this one. 

It is also bad enough for Obamacare to cause delays in getting appointments from good doctors while those who wear the title of doctor only do so to collect money from a visit  while going through the motions.

It is very hard to be kind and truthful sometimes. Today I did not say anything about how horribly I've been treated. Instead I told her not today.

Receiving a call like this, being awakened early to someone who is pushing you when you cannot think, and after thinking about the call realizing how selfish it was just sits with me all day. I'm one who cannot let go easily.

I am amazed at what extent some doctors will go to keep a patient for income and simply that alone. But guilting someone into making an appointment is not the way to go. Simply be a better doctor.

When I am in so much pain like today, everything seems to be magnified. So I will do what I've learned to do when a flare hits. I'm taking my meds and crawling into bed.

Still looking forward to the colder air even though it hurts!

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