Thursday, November 14, 2013

TIME PASSES

I noticed old friends my age are starting to lose their parents. Hardest thing in my life was losing my parents and my only brother. I was young. My mom died two days before my 24th birthday. My dad and brother died within two years of each other. I had turned 35 when I lost my dad, the last member of my family.

Now those who are my age are losing their parents and experiencing the pain involved. I can tell you that you never get over losing someone. You only learn to live with it as time passes. I still break down missing my family even after all these years.

Hard thing was I didn't have anyone to grieve with me. I did it alone. Made life even harder. But I've learned to live alone, suffer alone and endure. Still doesn't make life any easier.

I believe losing my family when I was young left some major scars on my heart. As I've said before, life is hard enough without adding more pain. When you're suffering physically, emotional pain is just icing on the cake.

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Still not able to go outside. It has been a terrible lupus week. Need to get some things, i.e. needs, but can't go past the door. Thank goodness for Rascal. He has been my constant companion. No matter how much it warms up outside, we're still freezing on the inside. He's curled up in a blanket and I'm doing the same.

 

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