Saturday, February 8, 2014

Still Feeling Homesick!

I'm still feeling homesick (see previous post). It has enveloped me like a storm cloud not willing to turn loose of its vengeance. I'm tired today, so tired. My heart is heavy. My body, mind and soul are heavy. Even sleep, the few hours I enjoyed, doesn't heal the burdened soul.

Worry about finances. Worry about what purpose my small, minuscule life must hold. Worry about everything. Worry is a bad thing, a heavy burden, the wrong thing to do, but somehow I tend to pick it up so easily and have a hard time releasing it.

My head his heavy today. All I want to do is sleep, but it evades me like love from an untruthful soul.

When I did sleep, I dreamed about dancing, being held close by my favorite person. Beautiful close dancing, slow and sweet. Now I have to walk with a cane, no feeling left in my legs or feet. Will that dream always remain a dream?

I am tired today, so tired. I'm tired of being alone, of the dreaded day to day of nothing, of not even being able to sleep where I can truly live in my dreams.

I'm so tired.

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