Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Still Lupus Suffering

Still suffering from a bad lupus flare. This is the first time I've been able to sit up and write. The weather has taken its toll on my body and it isn't finished yet.

My former Rheumatologist in AL said that lupus patients are a great weather barometer. They also suffer from its affects. Never have truer words been spoken.

We've had warmer days here in Wilmore, KY this week, but the rain has poured in enough to destroy my joints. When it rains, my entire body wreaks of pain. I have a hard time breathing. I cannot mentally function. Forget sleep. Wasn't able to step outside to enjoy any of the warmer temps.

The rain knocks the wind out of me.

Tomorrow will be a bad weather/rain/wind day. Just praying for sleep! Lack of it is taking its toll. I look at Rascal and wish I could sleep as soundly as he does.

Spring isn't here yet. Very cold temps and snow chances are back in the forecast for the beginning of next week.

I want to ask another question when I arrive in Heaven. "WHY do people volunteer to help someone in need and then decide later on they just don't want to do it?"

I'm back to searching for help to the doctor's office in Lexington. The person who volunteered to help out in that area has given me info on the transit system. Unfortunately, it would cost me over $50 round trip just to go to the doctor. Not an option!

If the shoe were on the other foot, I would never do this to someone else. If I saw a need, had the means, and were able to help someone go to and from the doctor, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Believe me, going to the doctor is not a fun trip. It is a drudgery.

My legs are totally numb from the knees down. Lupus has destroyed the nerves in both legs and feet. I couldn't feel a gas or brake pedal if I tried. When one of my doctors checked the nerve damage I had, he said, "PLEASE tell me you're not driving!"

Driving? I can barely walk! Add to it the continual loss of vision I've experienced with lupus. I cannot begin to tell you how thankful I am for this computer. At least I can enlarge the screen so that I can see the words!

But instead of helping, people hurt. They condemn you for not being able to transport yourself to a doctor's office. They avoid you because of a disease that you didn't ask for. I'm so tired of the condemnation from people.

Stress added to the mix  causes more flares. More flares cause more irreparable damage to my body.

Why can't people just be kind? Don't volunteer to do something unless you mean it. Don't volunteer to make yourself feel good. Don't volunteer and then walk away when you get bored.

If I had asked it would have been different. But I never asked.

Lord, please don't let me ever treat someone the way I've been treated.

No comments:

Post a Comment