Saturday, April 26, 2014

Dizzy Dreams, Easter, and Lupus Pain

As usual, I had odd dreams last night. I dreamed that I opened my mailbox and tons of letters/cards fell out. They came from all over the world. Each one held $10 - a blessing that really added up fast (and was needed). Each card read as follows: From God.

I can only imagine what that must feel like in my waking life. Perhaps I dreamed it because of the great financial need in my life. Perhaps I dreamed it as a reminder that God provides and takes care of me (and He does). Perhaps I dreamed it because I always look forward to the mail each day even though it is usually filled with junk and bills. Even so, the dream was wonderful, a far cry from the nightmares I've been experiencing nightly.

When I awoke, I smiled at such a possibility. Wouldn't it be wonderful?! Then I stood up and almost passed out. I've been dizzy all day, my heart fluttering in my throat, and feeling physically ill. Both hands are numb today so I've had to be careful when trying to hold the simplest of items like a cup or bowl. Since Dr. day is Thursday, I decided to crawl back in bed and suffer it out.

The weather has changed once again. Snowy morning and below freezing temps tonight. But soon Spring will return - a time of hope and promise. Easter is Sunday. Although I won't be going to church this year, I always worship Him. While families gather together for church and dinner afterwards, I'll be spending the day with Rascal and Buddy, and hoping Buddy won't snatch anymore baby bunnies from underneath the bush at the end of my porch like he did last year. Poor bunny! I tried to rescue him, but he didn't let me.

I remember Easters from the past. My mother always made a ham dinner on Easter. We ate together. It was the one thing she did so well - make holiday dinners. She was the true southern cook. My dad always bought my Easter basket. He stopped when I turned ten. It broke my heart. Haven't had one since. Sometimes I wish I had an Easter basket filled with goodies.

There is a robin singing outside my window. His repertoire is beautiful. Not one song the same. On a day like this when I feel alone in the world, it is a blessing to hear God's song bird sing such beautiful songs.

Time to go back to bed. Even though sleep won't come because of the pain, I will rest my head and remember the wonderful dream from the night before.


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