Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Sometimes I Just Want to Scream!

Sometimes I just want to scream!! It doesn't really change anything. Only makes me cry harder. But sometimes I feel like it is the only thing that helps get past the way people treat others. Instead of "living" with lupus, I feel as though I'm "existing" with lupus.

So many things I am tired of: 

1. I'm tired of someone judging another and telling them what "they need to do to feel better" when they really don't have a clue.
2. I'm tired of someone forcing me to have to explain my illness and why I'm taking a medication that has so many side effects. Would they do this to someone with cancer? No. 
3. I'm tired of someone thinking they know it all, sharing their "non-expert" opinion and making life harder on those who are suffering when they decide to turn their opinion into gossip.
4. I'm tired of having to listen to someone talk non-stop about themselves and never asking how I am doing. (Yes, I am a listener, but it would be nice for someone to listen to me for a change.)
5. I'm tired of not having anyone I can trust to listen and not pass judgement. 
6. I'm tired of my experiences above all come from people who call themselves Christians and judge me because I am not able to go to church. 
7. I'm tired of going days without seeing another human being. 
8. I'm tired of being sick and tired of being sick and tired (it isn't my fault!).
9. I'm tired of being a prisoner in four walls of my own home.
10. I'm tired, just plain tired, of experiencing the worst of people. 

This is the result of my tiredness:
1. I will always listen to someone who needs to talk. Not only will I listen, I will CARE.
2. I will never put anyone in a position to have to explain why they are sick.
3. I will not only care about a person's need, I will put action behind it. 
4.  I will never give my "expert opinion" to anyone unless they ask.
5. I will never insult anyone by passing judgement on what they have to endure in this life.
6. I will never judge another person who does not go to church.
7. I will never pass someone in need and ignore them. 
8. I will never make someone feel invisible and not worthy of love, encouragement, acceptance and will put action behind this.
9. I will remind myself the few who make it worse on people who are sick will someday reap those harsh words and actions. 
10. I will also remind myself there are more good people in this world who counteract the bad.

If only people would realize every action and word affects the person they encounter. What a huge world of difference it would make.

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