Monday, August 25, 2014

Just Another Day

It seems like every day is just the same. I haven't seen another person in seven days. I've a friend who would think that was heaven. For me it is overwhelmingly sad. You see she has fait, friends, and coworkers. She has no idea what it is like to be alone in the world.

So I decided to move - to go back to a place where I knew people to be kind, accepting, and loving. After two years of living in the one place I knew I could be loved, I found rejection, loneliness and emptiness. I found senseless drama, spiteful criticism, and misguided opinions. I experienced words with no actions, people with no hearts, and life with no purpose. And the worst part is this town takes such pride in being a loving Christian haven. Turns out it is no different than where I used to live. At least I wouldn't be alone long stretches of time. It seems selfish, judgement al people are everywhere.

I had a discussion last week about death. Took the opportunity to say the one thing that bothers me about dying is my body not being found for a long long time. She said, "You can always call me."

I said, "I can't call you if I'm dead!"

Her solution was to call ahead of time if I am feeling deathly sick.

Do people know that I am sick? Yes. Do their actions show they care? No.

So the next time you complain about your husband, child, parents, remember how horrible it would be if you did not have them.

The hope I have is not in people. It is knowing my purpose come from God.

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