Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Pushing Forward

It has been a very painful few days since my Friday INFUbYSION. The third INFUSION knocked the wind out of me. I have barely been able to walk from room to room. More time has been spent in bed. These are the Times I feel so alone in the wold, have no purpose and ask God why I am still on this earth.

Today was an early one for me. Early to the doctor. He's a good man. Encourages me to keep going and tells I desperately need a support group. Well I  know this, but you can't make people care.

The pain is a 10 tonight. Everything hurts. So many things I need to do, but am too weak to do them.

I wanted to plant yellow roses so that I could bring them inside to enjoy during this hot summer. Instead I have been bed bound, hospital bound, and experiencing lupus flares. No planting this year.

So when I am stuck in bed, I read and watch movies. There have bee three Kevin Spacey movie on the past two days. I especially enjoyed "Beyond the Sea." Kevin singing and dancing. Makes me smile. Then I go to sleep early only to find him starring in my dreams. He even brought yellow roses.

When you don't have a quality of life, dreams make up for the empty places. Thanks, Kevin, you have brought joy to my life.

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