Thursday, August 28, 2014

Strength Increased

Every morning I've awoken, I have felt wrung out, exhausted, bad. Today once the bad wrung out feeling passed, I felt more like a human being again. Hope of Benlysta working? I surely hope so! 
Once I get through the multiple side effects, I feel better. This time it just took longer. 

The heat and humidity now play a huge part in my flares. I've never been a fan of summer, especially August, but it reminds me the suffering summer flares will soon end once Fall air comes. I've been inside for ten days now. Haven't seen another person in ten days (hardest part). But when I open the door to feed the kitties and get the mail, the heat wipes me out. I keep reminding myself Dothan is in the high 90's with extreme humidity, but my body doesn't seem to understand. Low 90's is still bad. 

Rascal still keeps his spot in the open window enjoying direct sun and heat. What will he do when winter sets in? Yell at me I'm sure. 
His body is adjusted to the extreme weather conditions. Me, not so much!

As I finally woke up from my side effect fog, I realized how very messy my apartment has become. If I don't clean it, no one else will. If I am sick, I can't do it. I didn't realize how much this medication has pushed me down until I looked around. 

Watched the Emmy Awards Monday night because Kevin Spacey was nominated. He was using a cane due to a tennis injury. All I could say was "Welcome to my world!" He will heal and put the cane aside. I won't. I'll be using a cane forever. 

Still have hope this medication will work. I won't go for another treatment until September 12. I see the rheumatologist the Monday before. My last regular MD appointment showed I'm anemic. Surprise! Oh joy. When you have to make a choice between buying food or medication, you can't exactly eat well. 

Just taking each day one at a time. No one is promised tomorrow and I know while suffering from this chronic life threatening disease my chances are less. Yet it does not make me afraid because I know where I'll be once I leave this worn out body. 

Stop and appreciate every part of your day. The things you take for granted today may be gone tomorrow. 


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