Sunday, November 2, 2014

A Rough Weekend!

It has been a rough weekend. When the cold rain and sleet set in on Friday, it hit my joints. I could not walk on my right leg. The knee joint was swollen twice its size. Snow set in early Saturday morning. Thankful I could drag myself to the window to see it fall. 

I love and hate winter all the same. LOVE snow! Love the cooler temps, but my body is in so much pain I can barely walk a few steps. My apartment is freezing cold and the cold affects lupus. Will I make it through another cold winter? As long as I'm bed bound, I'm okay. But walking through the apartment is so rough on my body. 

Can't believe Thanksgiving is in a few weeks. I hate this time of year. Reminds me of how alone I truly am in this world. Loss of my family is great. No one to share the holidays with - just me and the cats. I hear people complain because they aren't married - "I'm so alone." Quite frankly it makes me sick to my stomach because the very people who say this have parents and siblings. They are not alone. Alone is having no one. Unfortunately I know alone all too well.

I tried sleeping through Christmas last year, but the pain was still great in my heart. I wonder sometimes what I did to be left alone in the world. The only thing I can think of is I became chronically ill with a disease most people don't understand. It wasn't my choice. I did nothing to acquire this disease, but I have it all the same. Just wish people understood how alone I am.

If you are reading this page, please look around your neighborhood. You'll find someone who is alone in the world. Invite them to dinner for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Show you care. It will make a huge difference. Put yourself in their shoes and understand.

My wrist is so swollen today from the cold that I have to close this post.

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