Friday, December 12, 2014

A NIGHT OF SICKNESS AND REFLECTION

I'm typing on my Kindle because my computer is having problems. So if I misspell a word or two, overlook it.

Yesterday was horrible. I started feeling sick around 3:00 pm. Throwing up every fifteen minutes. Lasted for four hours. My throat is still raw ad I have not slept. Fevers and chills.

An hour ago I started to feel better. 

I know what it feels like to deal with illness alone. I have also learned to take things moment by moment. It is not fair for me to expect anyone to relate to this unless they have dealt with it.

The fact remains that every person will reach a point of illness, suffering and being alone. I try to remind people not to judge someone because of their life circumstance because you are not immune to the same path. Mine started in my mid 30's. As time passes, grief, illness, being alone all become your life.

So many times I find myself saying I understand now. It took my life changing drastically to learn. 

Don't learn the hard way.

Compassion is a gift. Advice is cheap. Love instead.

When I am as sick as I have been the past two days, I remember experience is the best teacher. It softens your heart to others. I wonder time and again why suffering has been a huge part of my life. Truth is I would not have a compassionate heart without it. 

The Bible teaches sin can destroy you. I believe seeing someone in need and doing nothing is a far worse sin. 

Christmas is the hardest time of the year for me. Loss of family is magnified. So many people hurt this time of year because of lost loved ones. Time and love are far better gifts than those wrapped in paper. I yearn to go home this time of year. There is no home to return to, no family,  nothing. I cannot change this. I can love, care, listen, and be there. Small gifts but worth more than gold.

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