Wednesday, July 29, 2015


Weather can be such a horrible punishment for someone who is chronically ill. The humidity is high. The rain is present. The heat is miserable.

I am swollen. I am sick physically. I don't have a choice but to keep trying.

On days like this I miss my family terribly. Lost my mom when I was 24. Lost my only brother when I was 33. Lost my dad when I was 35. Was alone in the world from then on.

My dad became a tender hearted caregiver after my brother died and when I was diagnosed with systemic lupus. If I were home sick in bed, he would check on me constantly and made sure I had food. Not something my mother ever did when I was growing up.

Now there is no one to help when I can't get out of bed. As much as I love Rascal and Bitty, they are useless when I'm sick!

Our society has become an uncaring place. There was a time when neighbors checked on neighbors especially when they knew the person was sick. Not my experience. Wish they cared more.

I haven't seen another person since last Thursday. Not by my choice. I'm imprisoned inside my place during the most extreme temperatures. No sun exposure. Heat and humidity beating me up regardless.

What use to be something I look forward to has changed to "junk mail again!" It is bad enough to have an email account with no personal notes, just junk mail. Whatever happened to sending someone a card or a written note?? Has that art been lost forever? I make it a point to send a real birthday card when I know of someone's birthday.

As I sit here propped up on pillows with a laptop in my lap, I am miserable. Totally miserable!

Oh to experience hope once again!

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