Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Thanksgiving and Christmas

Thanksgiving in tomorrow. I am very thankful for so many things, but I still don't like the holiday. It focuses on the unity of families. No, I don't hate families either. I just don't have one anymore. My immediate family has passed away. Add to it the aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc., and you find someone who is alone in the world. I never found the right person, so I'm single.

I took a chance and went to a new church on Sunday. Normally I make a vow not to enter social gatherings because they make me feel even more alone. Thanksgiving was mentioned. Families mentioned. I was surrounded by families. How do I feel? ALONE. 

I would give anything to step back in time when I left the last day of Fall quarter from college and traveled home for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Nothing like the smell and taste of my mama's homemade cornbread dressing. She went all out during the holidays and was known as a top notch southern cook. 

I would give anything to arrive home, drop my bags, sit at the kitchen table and eat supper with my family. Wake up Thanksgiving morning to the smells of heaven, and sleep the rest of the day in a deep security, something I've not felt since the last one died. 

I simply hate the holidays now. Most of the time I can handle Thanksgiving, but Christmas is unbearable. Sometimes I'd like to crawl in bed and hibernate for another month. A coma wouldn't be such a bad thing this time of year. 

I barely remember past holidays. Bits and pieces come to mind. 

Appreciate the family you have. The alternative is not good.

No comments:

Post a Comment