Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Searching for a Goodnight's sleep

My mattress is only a year and a half old, but my body hurts from not getting a good night's sleep. It is a good firm mattress. But since it doesn't accommodate the painful parts, the parts that swell and sharp stabbing pains that shoot throughout, I can't sleep well. I have another bed in my apartment. It is the bed my parents bought when they were married. The box springs and mattress are over twenty years old. It, too, tears my back apart.

When I get up in the morning, I cannot walk well for two hours. When I have to go somewhere I have to get up two hours earlier just to be able to walk and move the pain loose.

I've been suffering from lupus for twenty two years now and the damage it has done to my body is immense. Something as needed as sleep is a luxury now. Sad thing is lupus patients need 8-10 hours of sleep just to reduce flares and damage. I can't remember when I've had 8 hours.

I'm hurting too much to sit in the recliner, rest on the loveseat, sit in a rocker. I'm in so much pain and stiffness is so bad that I cannot pull myself up when I lie down. If only I could find the perfect bed. If only I had a sleep number bed. I've heard how wonderful they are for those who suffer with chronic illness. But how on earth could I ever afford a sleep number bed? The cost of living is hard enough added on to twenty prescriptions to fill. I'll just have to wish and dream for one someday.

Until then I am thankful for the rare few hours I can sleep. It is with sleep I leave the pain behind and hope for peace and serenity.

Oh gosh how I hurt!

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