Thursday, December 15, 2016

Oh Joy!

Today I made a bad choice. I chose to eat some nuts. I've spent the last two hours throwing up. Nuts and diverticulitis just don't mix, but I just wanted some. REMEMBER THIS MARY!! Don't eat nuts again!!

NOT fun!

Today has been bitterly cold. Tonight's temp is -3 degrees with wind chill. As usual with block walls inside my place it is really holding the cold. Rascal is under an electric blanket. Bitty is sleeping on top of a heated throw. Who knows where Buddy ran off to! I've called him over and over. Tom is wrapped up under numerous blankets. And I plan to crawl under an electric blanket as well. Finally found Buddy and wrapped him up in blankets as well. These sweet creatures have been my only support system. Unconditional love. Some people don't care for animals. Me? I have a stray cat magnet inside. They know if they come to my door they will be fed, loved, cared for, and have a warm bed to sleep in.

I lost my productive life a long time ago. Most friends left when I grew sicker. And all of my family members died before I became so sick. Many days pass when I can't get out of bed. But there isn't any one to bring me food or water. So I suffer through alone. This time of year makes the loss of my family horribly difficult. I've simply gone numb. If I didn't have those sweet felines to take care of, I'd have no one at all. My family died and left me here alone. Days pass when I beg God to let me go home, too. There are far to many of those days now.

As usual, the cold has caused a lupus flare. I can barely walk across the floor. Taking a shower was a huge accomplishment. Amazing what we take for granted isn't it? I'm so wiped out and hurting I can barely type on the keyboard.

Start a new benlysta treatment on Monday. Still trying to cover the percent that isn't covered by my insurance. And for those who "don't get it," if you have insurance of any kind you can't qualify for the free medicine sites. You're considered "insured" even if it doesn't cover the whole thing. I've been there and done that. I've spent 1 1/2 years paying off that 20% not covered. Hospital bills roll in and expect to be paid. All of the trolls who are commenting and sharing their two cents worth need to stop. If I could figure out how to delete and block you, I would. Do us both a favor and crawl over to someone else's blog. Delete mine. Bullying is not Allowed are causing more stress and pain.

This is Itty Bitty kitty. She found out living with me means being cold inside, too. Gas and electricity cost money. My fifteen medications are going up in January. Soon it will be a choice between medicine or heat.

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